Agency vs. independent surrogacy journeys
This morning I noticed that in one of my comments, Scarred Bellybutton left me a link to a blog article* about independent surrogates vs. agency surrogates also asked about my thoughts on agencies.
I hated it. There's just no nice way to say it. The title is Surrogacy Agency Misconceptions: Why Some Surrogates "Go Independent." Though the title says "some surrogates," the text of the article is written in such a manner that it seems to apply to "all or most" surrogates who chose to work independently. It was skewed and cast independent surrogates in a negative light. A heavy implication given was that agency surrogates are of higher quality than independent surrogates, because independent surrogates 1.) are trying to cut corners around screening procedures, 2.) can ask for retainer fees (which in and of itself has an underlying connotation that indy surrogates are more motivated by money), and 3.) do not want to take the time to complete the lengthy application and profile packets that are required when seeking acceptance to an agency. I think that someone who didn't know any better could read article and be under the impression that independent = high chance of a bad journey and agency = high chance of a good journey.
Before I continue, here are some basic facts about the article writer - she is a GSx2 to two sets of twins (both independent matches, believe it or not), a former agency owner, is and outspoken supporter of infertility awareness and education, and her current blog, Surrogacy 101, provides extensive information about many intricate aspects of surrogacy arrangements.
I don't read her blog regularly but when I do, I have always been impressed with the information she provides prospective intended parents and surrogates. This morning, I was honestly quite shocked to read such a lopsided article, especially when it was presented as "objective" information.
I commented to her article, and to her credit she emailed shortly thereafter to say that I raised some valid points and to ask to use my comment as a standalone post on her blog. Also to her credit, I can somewhat understand the point that she was trying to make. There are some women who call themselves surrogates who choose not to work with agencies because they (the "surrogates") have a greater chance of taking advantage of unwitting prospective intended parents. However, this is a small fragment of the population of women who present themselves as surrogates. Also, the article did not provide a balanced view - there are also agencies out there that are run by inexperienced owners who seek to take advantage of intended parents. A small number agencies have been responsible for mishandling intended parents' funds. I know some couples who have lost thousands of dollars to irresponsible agencies. But - this is a small, minute fragment of surrogacy agencies. Most agencies, as well as most independent surrogates, are involved in surrogacy for all the right reasons and do not seek to cheat the intended parents they work with.
Here is my complete response posted to the article, which summarizes my personal view on the agency vs. independent journey question:
For me personally, there is a greater sense of control working independently. I am free to navigate the course of my journey without a third party providing me with a limited range of options. I don't have to wait for someone to get back to me or determine when prospective intended parents and I are "ready" to receive each other's contact information. I like the fact that I can set my own pace.
Not all surrogates who work independently are trying to cut corners. With all due respect, a heavy implication in your article is that independent surrogates are of lower quality than agency surrogates *and* that all agencies will guarantee working with a quality surrogate. This is not necessarily true. I've seen many agency arrangements, as well as indy arrangements not end well with both the surrogates and IPs feeling a bit underwhelmed with the journey.
The bottom line is that whether working independently or with an agency, both surrogates and intended parents need to follow their gut instincts about the people they choose to work with. I've seen many wonderful independent surrogacy arrangements, including each of my own. There are many merits to working with an agency just as there are many merits to working independently. The route that will be "of more benefit" to a surrogate or intended parent is really a matter of personality and individual fit, and I don't think going one route or the other is more "right" than the other. What matters is what's "right" for the individual.
I was also interested to hear what other surrogates and intended parents thought of the article. I posted a thread on SMO and included a poll to examine whether most independent surrogates really did end up with rotten journeys. I didn't believe this to be the case, but I didn't want to assume, either. If you're interested, the thread is here. Surrogates and intended parents who've had independent and agency arrangements chimed in. Many interesting views on the topic were shared, especially from those who started out on one track then switched gears and felt more comfortable on the other. It perfectly underlines what I stated above:
The route that will be "of more
benefit" to a surrogate or intended parent is really a matter of
personality and individual fit, and I don't think going one route or
the other is more "right" than the other. What matters is what's
"right" for the individual.
I welcome all questions and/or comments, so whether here on the blog or in email, ask away!
I previously explored the major pros and cons of agency and indy journeys here: Look before you leap.
*Special thanks to k77 of Scarred Bellybutton for bringing this article to my attention!
